Richard Shola Smiling And Wearing a Red Smiley Face T-Shirt While Standing In Front of Large Plant
Gravatar_3
If you ever wanted to learn more about me, it’s all right here in this post.

You might already know this, but this past Saturday (November 2nd) was my 45th birthday!

For the past five years on November 2nd–and, in what’s become a bit of a tradition on my birthday, I wanted to share with you 45 random things about me that you probably don’t know about me.

Don’t get confused though, even though this post might seem like it’s about me–as always, this is about us.

Specifically, it’s about creating an even deeper connection with you by sharing how much we have in common–and I’m willing to bet that it’s more than you thought before reading this post.

So, without further ado, here they are in no particular order. Enjoy! 

Read more

Man Walking Away On a Dirt Road Through Forest
Addition by Subtraction
Sometimes, it’s best to walk away.

Have you ever dealt with an incredibly difficult person before?

I know, I know. Ridiculous question, right? Of course you have.

I bet that it was a miserable experience, wasn’t it?

I believe that one of the hardest things that we have to endure in our lives is dealing with difficult people. In fact, it’s so tough that I even wrote a free guide to help you navigate through the challenges of it (if interested, you can get it instantly by subscribing to The Positivity Solution.)

In this post, I’m going to take it a step further.

Specifically, I’m going to talk about the people who are, without a doubt, the worst of the worst. While it’s true that difficult people are fairly common, the people that I’m about to mention, thankfully, are very rare.

I’m talking about toxic people.

You probably know who I’m talking about. They’re the people who are emotionally draining, constantly negative, manipulative, selfish, passive-aggressive, judgmental, emotionally (and possibly, physically) abusive, and/or narcissistic. And no, that’s not an exhaustive list.

Needless to say, these folks are dangerous and have the power to destroy your life if they are not dealt with swiftly.

The only way to deal with these people is to fully embrace the “addition by subtraction” philosophy.

I can promise you that using this technique when it comes to dealing with toxic people will positively change your life in ways that you wouldn’t even imagine.

Read more

Man With Head Buried in His Lap Sitting on a Railroad Track
Do you feel his pain? I do.

I absolutely LOVE Thanksgiving.

Food, family, friends, football, fun (did I get all of the “F’s”?), make this the one holiday that I look forward to the most every year.

In addition to all of the F’s, what I also love about this time of year is that we get to mindfully reflect on what is really important in our lives, and simply be in gratitude, at least for a day.

I urge you to consistently remember what it is that you’re thankful for, not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of your lives.

But that’s not what this article is about.

Let’s be real–chances are that if you’re choosing to read The Positivity Solution, you are already aware of the importance of being thankful for your health, your spouse, your kids, your home, your friends, your family and your job.

So, let’s raise the stakes a little.

This Thursday before we slip into our yearly blissful tryptophanic food coma, my goal is to add a new and very important thing to the many things that you are the most thankful for.

Truthfully, it could save your life.

Read more

Man in Black and White With Red Tape in an "X" Over His Mouth
How to deal with haters
To the haters out there: Shhh…

“I could never do what you do.”

We were sitting in a coffee shop next door to my office when my friend said those words to me.

My friend is brilliant, funny, and an exceptional writer, but when I asked him what is stopping him from launching his own blog (something that he has talked about doing for months), that was his response.

He had more to say too:

“People are so cruel and judgmental. I don’t think that I have what it takes to put my writing out there for the world to rip apart and judge. There are so many haters out there.”

Sadly, he’s absolutely right. There are so many haters out there.

Some of you already know this, but it took me three long years to find the guts to publish my first ever blog post here on this site.

The reason for the ridiculously long delay, you might be wondering?

Fear of dealing with criticism from the haters.

Yep, that’s it. That fear almost stopped me from ever hitting “Publish” on my very first blog post.

Almost.

It took me a while to completely overcome this fear, but now with almost a year of blogging under my belt, I can say with 100% confidence that haters do not need to be feared.

They do need to be dealt with, though.

The problem is that when it comes to dealing with haters, most people give the same tired advice that you have probably heard before:

Ignore them.

Get a thicker skin.

Fight fire with fire.

There are definitely much better ways to silence the haters, so without further ado, let’s get on with the business of zipping their lips once and for all.

Read more

Man Holding Crossed Fingers Up By His Face
Need to be liked
Please like me, please like me…

I know a four-word sentence that has the power to get a negative response out of almost anyone who hears it.

Are you ready for it? Brace yourself, because it might sting a little:

“I don’t like you.”

Ouch.

See? It hurts, doesn’t it?

For years and years, I did anything humanly possible to avoid having those four words directed at me. Believe me, I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve come a long way from being the guy who desperately needed to be liked in order to be happy.

If you’re currently someone who has a desperate need to be liked by others, get comfortable because this blog post is for you.

Read more

Birds Grouped on Wires with One Bird by Itself "Individuality"
Individuality symbol and independent thinker concept and new leadership concept or individuality as a group of pigeon birds on a wire with one individual bird in the opposite direction as a business icon for new innovative thinking.
Why fit in when you could stand out?

Recently, during a speaking engagement, a woman in the audience asked me a question that would have been very difficult for me to answer a few years ago:

“On your positivity journey, what has been the one life lesson that has been the hardest for you to learn?”

Without any hesitation, I looked out at the audience and gave her my honest answer:

“Without question, the hardest life lesson that I’ve learned is that I have nothing to prove to anyone. Absolutely nothing.”

It took me a while (read: most of my adult life) to get to this point, but I’m here now and I cannot describe the amount of peace, freedom and happiness this simple lesson has given to me.

If you’re not there yet, I’m here to help you get there, today.

You have nothing to prove to anyone, and I’ll do everything in my power to convince you that it’s true.

Read more

Young Lady With A Hat Sitting On A Pier
Waiting to find happiness? If so, you’re in for a long wait.

Please take a moment to marinate in an excerpt from one of my favorite books of all-time. If you have kids, you should probably recognize it instantly:

[You’ll] grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place.

…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go,

or bus to come, or a plane to go,

or the mail to come, or the rain to go,

or the phone to ring or the snow to snow,

or waiting around for a Yes or No,

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite,

or waiting for wind to fly a kite,

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake,

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break,

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants,

or wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying.

You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.”

-Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Do you know what a “Boom Band” is? Yeah, I’m not entirely sure either.

Here’s what I do know, though.

No one likes waiting. 

Unfortunately, besides the fact that it’s a less-than-enjoyable thing to do, waiting can also be incredibly dangerous too.

This is especially true when it comes to waiting for happiness.

Like Dr. Seuss said, it’s time to escape all that waiting and staying.

I might not know exactly what Boom Bands are, but I know that they’re good. More importantly, I happen to know exactly where the Boom Bands are playing too.

It’s time that we pay that place a visit.

Read more

Being your own hero. Silhouette Of A young boy wearing a cape plays a super hero at sunset.
Being your own hero. Silhouette Of A young boy wearing a cape plays a super hero at sunset.
Be your own hero.

One day I was teaching a customer service class, and I remember a woman complaining non-stop about how miserable she was in her job.

She went on and on about how she hated all of her coworkers, she hated her boss, she hated serving customers, and most of all, she felt like her job was taking years off of her life due to “being around stupid people all day.”

When she was done with her rant, I asked her a very obvious question that she probably should have asked herself years ago:

“If you’re so miserable here, shouldn’t you consider finding another job that will make you happy?”

She was completely shocked by my question, before she finally responded.

“Well, I have bills to pay and I need this job. But that’s not even the issue. I just don’t understand why this company has so many idiots working here. They should be the ones who have to quit, not me…” Blah, blah, blah.

On and on she went. It was truly sad to listen to her.

She believed that the responsibility for fixing her unhappiness in her job belonged to her company, to her coworkers, and to her boss.

The fact is, no one is going to save her from a job that she hates–least of all, the “idiots” who she hates working with.

But I know who can.

Read more

Door Open To Show a Brick Wall
Door To Brick Wall
What do you see–a barrier or an opportunity?

A while ago, I ran into one of my old coworkers at the grocery store.

We used to work together at the soul-destroying hellhole that I’ve described in other blog posts in the past. I haven’t seen this woman at all since I left that place for good many years ago, and I was very curious to find out if she was still working there.

One thing that I knew for sure was that she hated at working at that place as much, if not more, than I did.

Surely, she escaped and was joyfully working in a happy and healthy work environment, right?

Well…

Here’s a brief nugget from our conversation in the grocery store:

Me: “Hey, so are you still working at (company that is so wretched and awful that it cannot be named)?”

Ex-coworker (obviously embarrassed): <Deep sigh>“Yeah I am, but…”

To be honest, I stopped listening at that point.

I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain.

Read more

Huge legs with small businessman standing in front
Huge legs with small businessman standing in front concept on ba
It’s time to reclaim your power.

If you’ve been following The Positivity Solution for a little while, then I’m certain that you know this:

I believe that fear destroys more lives than any other force on this planet.

That’s why I talk about the dangers of living a fear-controlled life so often on this blog (like here, here and here for starters.)

While that’s true, there’s one form of fear that I haven’t really addressed up until this point, and it actually might be the most common form of fear that exists.

It’s the fear of other people.

Or more specifically, being intimidated by other people. If you’re in that place now, this one is for you.

Read more

Hi! I am Shola

Pink Gradient Shadow

Over a decade ago, I was drowning in the despondency of yet another workday. My success as the top regional performer had been numbed by a culture of incessant workplace bullying. And, I’d recently made the situation worse by filing a formal complaint. In short, I was collateral damage in a company without the process or intention to address my experience.

Exhausted from the drama, with an unrecognizable version of myself at the wheel, I intentionally swerved off the interstate in an attempt to take my own life. But in that half-second, my reflexes responded, and I yanked the wheel away from disaster. As I clipped the guardrail on I 405, something changed...

I uncovered a power within myself

...a burning desire to reverse a trend that happens daily to sixty-five million people in this country alone. This catalyst has since become Go Together™ Movement - a transformational roadmap of mindset, behaviors, and tools that transform workplace cultures and drive results.

Pink Icon of Down Arrow

Connect

Start a conversation with Shola

  • I am interested in... (please select all options that apply)*

  • I can be reached at...

  • What would you like Shola to know about your role and/or organization, and where you’d like to be?