After a recent keynote talk, I was asked a very powerful question from an audience member during the Q & A session:
“What is the single most important lesson that you have learned in your entire life?”
There are a lot of lessons that I’ve learned on my 50+ trips around the sun, but I responded with the lesson that is currently on my heart:
“The single most important lesson that I’ve learned in my life is that I have nothing to prove to anyone. Absolutely nothing.”
It took me most of my adult life to get to this point, but I’m here now and I cannot describe the amount of peace, freedom, and happiness this simple lesson has given me.
If you’re not there yet, allow me to share two game-changing truths that will set you free, effective immediately:
1) People are going to judge you no matter what you do.
👉🏾 If you go to the gym 5x a week, or if you have Big Macs & fries delivered to your home for all three meals, people will judge you either way.
👉🏾 If you choose to have a small army of kids or if you choose not to have kids, people will judge you either way.
👉🏾 If you shop at high-end stores or if you shop at budget retailers, people will judge you either way.
No matter what you do, judgment from others is an unavoidable part of life. And since that’s the case, there really is only one logical thing to do:
Be yourself.
You don’t need to prove to the world that you “made it” or act like someone you’re not in hopes of impressing people who you probably don’t even care about anyway.
2) No one really cares anyway.
This was the hardest lesson for me to believe, but it’s so true.
Sure, people may judge you, but after spending 30-40 seconds doing it, they’re completely over it. Most people spend 99.8% of their days thinking thoughts like:
👉🏾 “God, I’m so tired…”
👉🏾 “I have so much to do today!”
👉🏾 “I hate the way I look in these pants.”
👉🏾 “Ugh, how come no one likes my social posts?”
The majority of most people’s thoughts have very little to do with you.
It’s freeing because it shows how insane it is to “prove our worth” to people who are too caught up in their own drama to care whether we prove our worth to them or not.
So yeah, I have nothing to prove to anyone.
I’m a proud Kindness Extremist. You can think that I’m the hero that this moment in history desperately needs, or the corniest brother who has ever disgraced the internet. Either way, I’ll be fine–I promise.
So, here’s my question for you:
Who are you, really?
Once you answer that question, and as long as the answer doesn’t hurt you or anyone else, I’m urging you to honor that answer with every fiber of your being.
Your life will positively transform the moment that you stop worrying about impressing “the cool kids” of the world and start focusing on living authentically.
The truth is that we all only get one shot at this life, and it’s not worth wasting a minute of it chasing the approval of others with cringey “pick me” energy.
Instead, use your only shot at this life to bravely speak your truth, and to remember this:
You have nothing to prove to anyone ❤️.