Young Woman With Suitcase in Hand Going Away On A Rural Road
If you’re not wanted, why stay?

Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people–the ones who really belong in your life–will come to you. And stay.” -Will Smith

I believe deeply in simplicity.

One of my biggest blogging goals is to take complex concepts about living a more positive life, and streamline them in hopes of making it easier for thousands (maybe millions, one day?) of people to finally put them into action.

Here are five of my favorite examples:

1) What you allow is what will continue.

2) Stop complaining.

3) Leave the world better than you found it.

4) You have nothing to prove to anyone.

5) Be your own hero.

Simple, right?

And now, it’s time for another positivity solution (see what I did there?) that can save you from a ton of unnecessary pain and misery if you choose to follow it consistently:

Only go where you are wanted.

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Red Velvet Ropes Blocking Off The Red Carpet
Who gets to be in your VIP Section?

If you’ve ever been to a nightclub before, then I’m sure that you’ve heard of the VIP (aka, Very Important Person) section before.

If not, the VIP section of a nightclub is the section of the club where some very lucky people get to enjoy some very cool perks.

People in the VIP section don’t wait in line like everyone else.

People in the VIP section are given super comfortable seats and a table with specialized service, just for them.

Most importantly, people in the VIP section get to enjoy the absolute best that the nightclub has to offer.

Make no mistake, it’s an honor, privilege, and a pretty incredible experience to enjoy VIP access.

At this point, I wouldn’t blame you if you were wondering, “umm okay, I haven’t been to a nightclub in years. What in the hell does this have to do with me?”

A lot, actually.

You might not be in charge of the VIP section for a fancy nightclub, but you’re in charge of the VIP section for something that’s far more important:

You’re in charge of the VIP section of your life.

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Words "Too Late" On a Chalkboard Crossed Out
Do you think that it’s too late for you? Think again.

It is always too early to decide that it’s too late.” -Unknown

I remember reading the above quote on the Facebook page of one of my favorite blogs, and ever since then, I cannot stop thinking about it.

In life, it is far too common for people to believe deeply in the myth of “too late.” Maybe you’ve believed in it too. I know that I used to believe in it at one time.

Be honest with yourself, have you ever said or thought any of the following things?

It’s too late to completely change careers.

It’s too late to start a new diet and/or exercise program.

It’s too late to fix my credit.

It’s too late to get a college degree.

It’s too late to tell (insert person here) that I’m sorry.

It’s too late to write a book.

It’s too late to find true love.

It’s too late to move to a new city with warmer weather.

It’s too late to learn a foreign language.

It’s too late to start my own business and be my own boss.

It’s too late for me to be a better mother/father to my kids.

It’s too late to stand up to my coworker who is making my work life a living hell.

It’s too late to leave my significant other.

It’s too late to travel the world.

It’s too late to make any meaningful changes in my life.

It’s too late to have a bigger impact on the world.

It’s too late to be happy.

If so, stop it.

It is never too late for you. Yeah, I said it. Never.

In the words below, it’s my hope that you’ll see exactly why that is true.

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Boy Sitting in Empty Room With Face In HIs Hands
Sad boy alone in a bare room
What you’re running from will find you.

Do you know what I used to believe with every fiber of my being?

That I could run away from all of my problems.

It didn’t matter to me if it was an unhealthy romantic relationship, a bill collector’s phone calls, a nagging toothache, or a persistent sadness that I couldn’t seem to shake off, my solution was to avoid feeling it.

That’s because I believed that if I avoided my pain–or worse, if I ran in the opposite direction of my pain–it would eventually go away.

It didn’t. 

Yours won’t either.

If you’re running away from your demons right now, I can promise you that they will be waiting for you when you finally decide to stop running.

Even worse, at that point you’ll probably be too exhausted and too burned out to deal with those demons.

And it’s at that moment when they’ll win.

There’s a much better way, and just like everything else on this blog, it’s going to require some courage in order to make it happen.

Ready?

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Cartoon Girl Looking Sad While Two Other Cartoon Girls Talk About Her
outcast girl
Do you know what judging others reveals about you? A lot.

Judgment can really be an ugly thing.

A few months ago, I was line at the gym waiting to swipe my membership card to enter the gym for my morning workout when I heard something disturbing.

Two women who were ahead of me in line started chuckling to themselves and commenting about a woman inside of the gym.

Lady #1: “I wonder if fat-ass Shamu is here this morning.” (Side note: In case you didn’t know, “Shamu” is the name of the huge killer whale at Sea World.)

Lady #2 (pointing at an overweight woman on an elliptical machine wearing a black-and-white outfit): “Yep, there she is! God, she is such a pig!”

Then they both swiped their membership cards and chuckled their way inside of the gym.

Yes, these were grown women in their 30’s, who got their jollies by making fun of a woman who was working hard to positively deal with the issue that they were currently laughing at her for (if that makes any sense.)

Yes, judgment really is such an ugly thing.

Unfortunately for those two women, what they didn’t realize is that their comments about that woman told me (and the world) so much more about them than it did about that woman.

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Boy in Superhero Outfit Sitting on a Roof Overlooking A City
Little Superhero
I think that I know why he’s not jumping.

“Hey Shola, how do you stay so motivated to make the world a more positive place?”

I get that question a lot for some reason.

Motivation is such an elusive thing for many people. Some people can find the motivation to create a million dollar business from scratch, to lose 200 lbs, or to become a Ph.D before they turn 30. Other people can’t find the motivation to shower on a daily basis or get out of bed in the morning.

Weird, right?

Speaking of “weird,” here’s my answer to the question at the beginning of this blog post:

I’m really not motivated to make the world a more positive place.

Wait…what did he just say?

It looks like I have some explaining to do.

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Large Waterfall With River Flowing Away Towards Sunset
Beautiful, isn’t it? You can create the same beauty in the world right now.

Last week, I talked about how ridiculously hard it is for most people to live a life of consistent positivity.

If you’re one of the many people who are currently living a life of positivity, then you probably know how hard it can be. That’s why it’s worth saying it again:

Being negative is the easy route.

The real challenge in life is finding the inner strength to be positive enough to make the world a better place, even in the face of unrelenting negativity.

Since it is a challenge, my goal is to make living a positive life as easy as humanly possible for as many people as I can reach.

Last week, I shared three simple, but very powerful tips to stay consistently positive. This week, I’m going to take it a big step further by giving you one simple rule to instantly (yes, instantly) make the world a more positive place.

Anyone can do it, you don’t need any talent/skills/connections/education/etc, and most importantly, you can apply this rule the minute you’re done reading this blog post.

Sound good? Let’s get to it.

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Stop taking yourself so seriously - Funny Portrait Of Rich Man With Serious Face Expression Smoking A Cigar
Stop taking yourself so seriously
This guy is taking himself WAY too seriously.

I will never forget it.

A couple of years ago, I was giving a speech to 200 people, and less than 30 seconds after I got on stage, I noticed a group of people in the front row who were chuckling, whispering to each other and pointing at me.

This couldn’t be good.

Mind you, at this point, all that I said to the audience was my name and why I was there. I didn’t say anything funny at all (not yet, anyway), so what in the hell was so damn funny??? I was so distracted and it was driving me crazy until I finally figured it out.

Yep, my fly was down.

Shit.

Here I was on stage with my zipper completely down, more and more people were noticing my “wardrobe malfunction” with each passing second, and at this point I was completely thrown off my game because I couldn’t. Stop. Thinking. About. My. Zipper!

Even worse, there was no escape.

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Woman silhouette waiting for summer sun on meadow
Through it all, you’re still here.

Many years ago, I saw an interview on TV that changed my life.

I wish that I had more details, but to make a long story short, a woman who had been through unspeakable horrors (rape, repeated abuse, false imprisonment, etc.) was being interviewed about her horrific ordeal.

I was actually flipping through the channels trying to find the Lakers game, but something about that woman’s inner strength, poise, and unshakable positive energy caused my thumb to freeze and stop pressing the “Channel Up” button as I listened to her voice.

After watching about 5 minutes of the interview, the interviewer asked the woman a difficult question with sincere curiosity:

“How it is possible for you to move on with your life after going through the hell that you went through?”

Without even the slightest pause, the woman looked directly at the interviewer and responded with the poise and grace that made her strength impossible to forget. Her response to that question has stuck with me ever since I saw the interview years ago:

“Because I’m still here.”

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Clock on Windowsill In Front of Ocean View
Is there anything in the world that’s more valuable than this?

Do you know what the most valuable thing in the world is?

Is it money? Happiness? Love? Positivity?

All of those things are great, but they’re far from the most valuable thing that this world has to offer.

I’ll give you a hint:

You use it everyday, using it well has the power to change your life, and even though it is insanely valuable, most people actually value this thing the least in their lives (I know…crazy, right?)

Yep, you guessed it. The world’s most valuable, and least respected resource can be summed up in one word:

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Hi! I am Shola

Pink Gradient Shadow

Over a decade ago, I was drowning in the despondency of yet another workday. My success as the top regional performer had been numbed by a culture of incessant workplace bullying. And, I’d recently made the situation worse by filing a formal complaint. In short, I was collateral damage in a company without the process or intention to address my experience.

Exhausted from the drama, with an unrecognizable version of myself at the wheel, I intentionally swerved off the interstate in an attempt to take my own life. But in that half-second, my reflexes responded, and I yanked the wheel away from disaster. As I clipped the guardrail on I 405, something changed...

I uncovered a power within myself

...a burning desire to reverse a trend that happens daily to sixty-five million people in this country alone. This catalyst has since become Go Together™ Movement - a transformational roadmap of mindset, behaviors, and tools that transform workplace cultures and drive results.

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