Being your own hero. Silhouette Of A young boy wearing a cape plays a super hero at sunset.
Being your own hero. Silhouette Of A young boy wearing a cape plays a super hero at sunset.
Be your own hero.

One day I was teaching a customer service class, and I remember a woman complaining non-stop about how miserable she was in her job.

She went on and on about how she hated all of her coworkers, she hated her boss, she hated serving customers, and most of all, she felt like her job was taking years off of her life due to “being around stupid people all day.”

When she was done with her rant, I asked her a very obvious question that she probably should have asked herself years ago:

“If you’re so miserable here, shouldn’t you consider finding another job that will make you happy?”

She was completely shocked by my question, before she finally responded.

“Well, I have bills to pay and I need this job. But that’s not even the issue. I just don’t understand why this company has so many idiots working here. They should be the ones who have to quit, not me…” Blah, blah, blah.

On and on she went. It was truly sad to listen to her.

She believed that the responsibility for fixing her unhappiness in her job belonged to her company, to her coworkers, and to her boss.

The fact is, no one is going to save her from a job that she hates–least of all, the “idiots” who she hates working with.

But I know who can.

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Door Open To Show a Brick Wall
Door To Brick Wall
What do you see–a barrier or an opportunity?

A while ago, I ran into one of my old coworkers at the grocery store.

We used to work together at the soul-destroying hellhole that I’ve described in other blog posts in the past. I haven’t seen this woman at all since I left that place for good many years ago, and I was very curious to find out if she was still working there.

One thing that I knew for sure was that she hated at working at that place as much, if not more, than I did.

Surely, she escaped and was joyfully working in a happy and healthy work environment, right?

Well…

Here’s a brief nugget from our conversation in the grocery store:

Me: “Hey, so are you still working at (company that is so wretched and awful that it cannot be named)?”

Ex-coworker (obviously embarrassed): <Deep sigh>“Yeah I am, but…”

To be honest, I stopped listening at that point.

I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain.

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Cartoon Girl Looking Sad While Two Other Cartoon Girls Talk About Her
outcast girl
Do you know what judging others reveals about you? A lot.

Judgment can really be an ugly thing.

A few months ago, I was line at the gym waiting to swipe my membership card to enter the gym for my morning workout when I heard something disturbing.

Two women who were ahead of me in line started chuckling to themselves and commenting about a woman inside of the gym.

Lady #1: “I wonder if fat-ass Shamu is here this morning.” (Side note: In case you didn’t know, “Shamu” is the name of the huge killer whale at Sea World.)

Lady #2 (pointing at an overweight woman on an elliptical machine wearing a black-and-white outfit): “Yep, there she is! God, she is such a pig!”

Then they both swiped their membership cards and chuckled their way inside of the gym.

Yes, these were grown women in their 30’s, who got their jollies by making fun of a woman who was working hard to positively deal with the issue that they were currently laughing at her for (if that makes any sense.)

Yes, judgment really is such an ugly thing.

Unfortunately for those two women, what they didn’t realize is that their comments about that woman told me (and the world) so much more about them than it did about that woman.

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Hi! I am Shola

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Over a decade ago, I was drowning in the despondency of yet another workday. My success as the top regional performer had been numbed by a culture of incessant workplace bullying. And, I’d recently made the situation worse by filing a formal complaint. In short, I was collateral damage in a company without the process or intention to address my experience.

Exhausted from the drama, with an unrecognizable version of myself at the wheel, I intentionally swerved off the interstate in an attempt to take my own life. But in that half-second, my reflexes responded, and I yanked the wheel away from disaster. As I clipped the guardrail on I 405, something changed...

I uncovered a power within myself

...a burning desire to reverse a trend that happens daily to sixty-five million people in this country alone. This catalyst has since become Go Together™ Movement - a transformational roadmap of mindset, behaviors, and tools that transform workplace cultures and drive results.

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