I had a conversation recently that broke my heart.
A friend told me they wanted to start therapy but felt it was “selfish” to spend time on their mental health when there were “more important things” to focus on.
I have to say this with my full chest: If you are fortunate enough to have the resources to access to quality mental health care, it is not:
❌ A luxury
❌ Optional
❌ An indulgence
❌ Only for people in crisis
❌ Something to feel guilty about
Your mental health is as essential as:
👉🏾 Your daily meals
👉🏾 Your regular sleep
👉🏾 Your physical health
👉🏾 Your ability to breathe
We’d never tell someone with a broken leg to “walk it off” or someone with diabetes to “just get over it.”
Yet somehow, we’ve normalized ignoring our mental health needs.
We’ve created this bizarre culture where taking care of our minds is treated as something extra, or a “nice-to-have”, instead of a must-have.
When your car needs maintenance, you do it. When your teeth need cleaning, you go to the dentist. When your body needs exercise, you make time for it.
But when our minds need attention? Suddenly it’s a debate about “not being strong enough.” I’m sorry, but that’s just weird and we need to do better.
I’m not being judgy–unfortunately, I’ve been there.
After my suicide attempt years ago, I resisted therapy for the longest time. I told myself I was “handling it,” that I was “strong enough to figure it out alone.” That lie almost destroyed me.
Here’s what I’ve learned about mental health in my old age:
👉🏾 It’s okay not to be okay.
👉🏾 Asking for help is courage, not weakness.
👉🏾 Your mind deserves the same care as your body.
👉🏾 Prevention is better than crisis intervention (read this one again).
👉🏾 We’re all going through something (in other words, you’re not alone).
I’m going to give you three challenges, if you’re up for it:
1. Notice how you prioritize (or don’t prioritize) your mental health.
2. Challenge any unhelpful stories you have and/or guilt you feel about taking care of your mind.
3. Take one small step toward better mental wellness (whether it’s therapy, meditation, journaling, or simply taking mental health days when possible).
The strongest people I know? They go to therapy. They talk about their feelings. They invest in their mental wellness.
Because they understand a fundamental truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup, and you certainly can’t live your best life if you’re not addressing what’s going on between your two ears.
If you’re unwilling to do it for yourself, think of everyone who counts on you to show up as your best self.
Your family deserves you at your best.
Your colleagues deserve you at your best.
Most importantly, YOU deserve you at your best ❤️.