Have you ever noticed that people who claim to be “brutally honest” rarely, if ever, share honest opinions that are uplifting, encouraging, or kind?
Being “brutally honest” isn’t an achievement—it’s just being mean and tactless under the guise of authenticity.
The world is plenty stocked with brutality, y’all. There’s no need for more of it.
Here’s what I’ve observed: The same person who says “I’m just keeping it real” when they criticize your work will somehow lose their commitment to brutal honesty when it comes to complimenting your achievements.
Funny how that works.
Real talk–true honesty doesn’t require brutality.
It requires courage, compassion, and context. The most helpful truth-tellers I know understand that how you deliver feedback is as important as the feedback itself. They’ve mastered the art of being direct without being destructive.
There’s a massive difference between “Your presentation to the senior leadership team was terrible and boring” and “I think your presentation to the senior leadership team would be stronger with more specific examples of your marketing strategy.”
Both may be honest. Only one is helpful.
If you’re driven by the need to defend harmful behavior by calling it “authentic” or “keeping it real,” please stop. You’re not a truth warrior—you’re just someone who hasn’t learned how to communicate effectively.
Next time someone says “I’m just being honest,” ask yourself: Is this person equally “honest” when it comes to sharing positive observations? Or do they only employ “honesty” when it allows them to be critical?
The people who have influenced me most weren’t the ones who demolished me with their “brutal honesty.” They were the ones who cared enough about my growth to deliver difficult truths in a way that actually helped me improve.
It’s this kind of honesty that will allow us to create a better world.
Here’s to practicing being truthful without being brutal ❤️.